This Sucks...

Watching what you eat sucks. I'm about 22 pounds from my all-time fighting weight. It's time for me to make a change...again. Yep, I've played this game. I've played it since I was in high school. I was skinny up until about 14. Not sure what happened, but I've been struggling with it ever since.

I've been up and down, but now I'm up and I really want to try and make it work this time. Yep, I've got the health problems, but that doesn't seem to motivate me. Brently has lost about 75 pounds in the last year. He looks awesome. I'm proud and I hate him. Hate him for having the willpower to kick his weight issues. He's made a lifestyle change. I hate that word. Lifestyle. I want to make a lifestyle change. I don't know if I can. I would like support but if I tell people, they would be watching me. Watching me fail. If I'm going to fail, I'm going to want to do it by myself with a peanut butter twix and a MGD 64.

Traveling for work makes it hard. (that's what she said). I'm heading to OKC this week. Working in a food industry is tough when making a lifestyle change. I have to try food every place I stop. I guess I just need to learn to not eat everything. I think I can do it.

I actually walked on the treadmill tonight. 2 miles in 40 minutes. I'm lighting fast! I guess it's a good start. I want to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without dying. I want to be able to jump on the top of my bunkbeds without huffing and puffing. I really want to shop in a normal store and not the fat teacher store.

My sister has lost weight, but she's going through a divorce. I don't want to go that route. I guess I could start smoking...but I really don't want to do that either.

I guess I'll just give it my best shot and keep wishing for a magic pill that will never exsist!