Good Day...

Today has been a good day. Some SoapNet with my coffee, cereal and kitty; a brisk walk before lunch; a healthy sandwich, pretzles, oranges and a 'healthy' ice cream bar; a play with one of my besties; supper with my husband and his folks. Good day.

One "non" good thing - my husband made me feel stupid. I don't need any help with this, but he seems to do it all the time. This time it was because I didn't know a famous person's correct last name. He acted like he had NO IDEA who I was talking about, and then said the person's last name correctly and eye rolled me. I was pissed. Really, why does he do this. He knew a was pissy and said, "It's not a big deal" and I said, "Really? Well, you just made it one." It would be one thing if it was just the two of use, but it was his parents and my friend. Damn that boy makes me mad sometimes.

Oh, and then I got on the scale this morning and weighed an entire pound more than when I started last week. Nothing like getting super depressed. I really want to eat M&M's but I think I can make it through the day. I'm going to go and make my lunch for tomorrow. At least I'll eat healthy tomorrow during the day.

Until next time....

No Will Power

So, how do you get "will power" ??? I have none, and would like to get some. I think I get discouraged too easily. You think you're doing good and then you get on a scale and think, "WTF" - "Seriously" I mean really, how can one item have so much impact on my life. I have no idea, but I wish I knew. I also wish I knew why, when you're having a bad day - when you're upset about your health/weight/etc. do you eat your weight in M&M's. Sure, you feel good for a few minutes, but then you think about what you just did and you want to cry.

Wow. I'm very positive and uplifting tonight.

My work trip was good. I'm not really looking forward to going into the office on Monday, but I have to. There's been a change in management and my co-worker of five years is now my boss. I really don't like it, but there is nothing I can do about it. I just go about my day, smile, do my job and keep my headphones in so I don't have to listen to anyone talk.

I'm lucky I have a couple good friends at work. One is going to be gone for a week so that's going to suck.

I'm going to take my lunch to work all week. I'm going to make it in the evening so I don't have any excuses in the morning.

I cooked tonight. I mean really cooked. Enchilada's. There were actually pretty good. I guess I can cook when I want to, which really isn't that often. I don't like to take a lot of time to cook so I'm always looking for something fast and easy.

Well, I need to go and spend some time with my kitty, so I guess that's all for tonight - oh, and I'm going to feel sorry for myself too. That's always a good time.

This Sucks...

Watching what you eat sucks. I'm about 22 pounds from my all-time fighting weight. It's time for me to make a change...again. Yep, I've played this game. I've played it since I was in high school. I was skinny up until about 14. Not sure what happened, but I've been struggling with it ever since.

I've been up and down, but now I'm up and I really want to try and make it work this time. Yep, I've got the health problems, but that doesn't seem to motivate me. Brently has lost about 75 pounds in the last year. He looks awesome. I'm proud and I hate him. Hate him for having the willpower to kick his weight issues. He's made a lifestyle change. I hate that word. Lifestyle. I want to make a lifestyle change. I don't know if I can. I would like support but if I tell people, they would be watching me. Watching me fail. If I'm going to fail, I'm going to want to do it by myself with a peanut butter twix and a MGD 64.

Traveling for work makes it hard. (that's what she said). I'm heading to OKC this week. Working in a food industry is tough when making a lifestyle change. I have to try food every place I stop. I guess I just need to learn to not eat everything. I think I can do it.

I actually walked on the treadmill tonight. 2 miles in 40 minutes. I'm lighting fast! I guess it's a good start. I want to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without dying. I want to be able to jump on the top of my bunkbeds without huffing and puffing. I really want to shop in a normal store and not the fat teacher store.

My sister has lost weight, but she's going through a divorce. I don't want to go that route. I guess I could start smoking...but I really don't want to do that either.

I guess I'll just give it my best shot and keep wishing for a magic pill that will never exsist!