Look Who Is Back....

Yep - I'm back. It's a new year and a new me. I make the same promises to myself all the time. I'm going to write everyday, I'm going to eat right, exercise more, spend less time on the computer and more time doing what I love. I love to read, write and scrapbook but at the end of the day, I find myself in front of the computer playing games and looking at food I will never make and crafts that I will never do.

January 1st - I hate to change my ways on January 1st but it just worked out that way. Maybe I'm thinking a clean slate - start doing something different. I was trying to think of a way to make myself accountable for my actions. How was I going to do this? Then it hit me just a few moments ago, between trying to get projects done for work, blog it - write it down. This is when I feel my best - when I am writing. I can express my feelings and hold my self accountable. Even if I am the only one that reads this....I have to believe that this is going to help.

After my yearly trip to Denver, I came back already knowing that I need to change my ways. Not just to lose weight but to feel better and be healthy. I wasn't even going to step on the scale until I had a week or so under my belt but then I decided that I needed to know where I started to help shape where I am going.  Holy crap was I in for a shock. After a lot of tears and tearing myself up, I realized there was nothing I could do to change the past - I just needed to move forward.

Okay - so it's only been two and a half days, but so far, so good. I'm trying not to let food be in my every thought, although I'm spending more time deciding what I want to eat, when I'm going to eat it and how to arrange my schedule to make sure that I get my walking in.

My first true test is going to be tonight. I am heading to supper with some co-workers as one of the VP's always takes us out for Christmas. It's a steak house that I have heard a lot of great things about, but I've never been to. I was with the two co-workers that I am going with and told them that I wasn't planning on having any alcohol at supper. I wanted to nip this as I'm the one that always happy to have a cocktail! When one of the co-workers asked why - I told her I was preggo. The look on her face was priceless and I thought she was going to faint, so I quickly told her that I was kidding! I explained that I wanted to eat better and be healthy and one of the things I was cutting back on was the cocktails. Now, I'm not going to give up my 'beverages' totally but I am going to be smarter about it. I decided I'm not going to to deprive myself on what I want (Ribeye) but I am going to only eat half of it. Deciding what I want to do ahead of time is key for me.

I have always been careful when sharing my healthy goals with others. Why would I tell anyone? I'm going to fail so why share this information? This time, I shared and you know what happened? Two of my co-workers went to lunch and over lunch they visited my favorite cupcake place. I saw co-worker #1 with the cupcake box. I said, "Whats ya got there?" and she said that co-worker #2 told her that they couldn't show me or sabotage me. I looked in the box and my favorite cupcake was in there. Co-Worker #2 came over later and I thanked her for not buying me one. She said, "It was really hard not to." A part of me REALLY wanted that cupcake but the other part of me won that small battle!

So tonight, while I drink my water, have my ribeye and know that I am going to walk when I get home, I'm going to feel just a little bit better about myself!