Day 73...part 2

Nothing like a lunch with your besties to get you back on track.

The best thing about good friends is their ability to tell you what you need to hear in a productive way. I always say...it's not WHAT you say, it's HOW you say it. Friends just know - they know you well enough to present the information in a way that will get you to understand. They won't say, "Get over yourself" they will say, "Have you thought about it this way?" Friends know what you need. Friends seem to have the ability to call, out of the blue, because they think you might need them.

Feeling bad for yourself is not productive. I've learned that the hard way.

Staying positive is a challenge - one that I think I'm for.

I'm going to get over my damn self. My words. Not my friends' words.

Day 73...

It's been an interesting week....

I've been trying to stay on course, but I've notcied I've been a little lax with my eating habits. I've kept up with my exercise which is probably why I'm not seeing any changes - it is an even exchange.

I need to step it up.

I did learn something about myself - I am now handeling stress different. In the past, I would have delt with it with food...chocolate, beer, you name it. I'm not doing that anymore. I know it is good I'm not, but I haven't really found an outlet to release it...

I'm working on myself...trying not to be too sensitive, trying not to be "jr high-ish" as I call it. Trying not to take things personally. Trying not to get my feelings hurt. It's hard though. I have a friend that is doing some meditation. Maybe that's something I should try. Something to calm me the f*ck down. Something to help me realize that I need to take care of #1, I shouldn't care what people think, I shouldn't be surprised what people do. It's just easier said than done. Maybe I am that person. The one that talks too much. The one that doesn't listen. The one that people don't really want to be around...After all, I am blogging about myself - what does that say. I have an online diary. Seriously. I can't be the only people that thinks this way can I?

My 5K is in 24 days. I'm getting nervous and excited. I ran outside last Friday and did pretty good. I'm going to try running outside again tonight. Not giving up, that's what is getting me through the day....that and my wonderful husband

"Stay, Stay, Stay...I've being loving you for quite some time, time, time. You think that it's funny when I'm mad, mad, mad. But I think that it's best if we both stay."

Day 63....

Well....I am doing MUCH better than the last time I posted! I know that everyone goes though a rough patch...I was just going through mine.

Tonight I will be starting my last week of the Couch to 5K program. Yep - I've been at it for 9 weeks. I never thought that when I started back on January 11th I would make it. I never thought I would be able to run/jog for 28 minutes IN A ROW! Tonight I will try to run/jog for 30 minutes and then I will try to jog an entire 5K.

My husband, my nephew and my nephew's girlfriend will be running the 5K also. I think I was better when I was running it without family present - but I can't be afraid. My goal is to run the entire thing and not finish last!

I have hit the 20lb mark. I was going to buy myself a new sweatshirt, but I have been spending money like it grows on tree, so I'm counting the new jeans I bought (the first ones without a "W" after the number) and new running pants toward this one. I still think at 25 lbs I'm going to buy a new pair of shoes. Not sure if they will be running shoes or boots or fun shoes.

I have been a little lax in my habits the last few weeks. I'm still losing which I like - it's nice to know I can do (and by do - I mean eat and drink) what I want - but I'm able to scale it down and by exercising every day (I haven't missed a day since I started this journey on January 1) it seems to even everything out. I want to get back in the habit of bringing my lunch. I just need to not be lazy in that department. How can I exercise every day but not put my shoes in the closest or my clothes away or pack my lunch. I need to be better about that.

I've been a little stressed at work which doesn't help - but at least I'm not turning to food. I feel better after working out so for now, that seems to work. I was going to have to travel this week but because of the weather, I'm staying put. This is going to help - I hope!!

Well...day 63...21 lbs lost...19 to my first goal weight - and my goal date is 4/30....over 1/2 way there.

Day 51....

Today is Day 51. For 51 days I have been tracking what I eat and exercising every day. For 51 days I have been watching out for myself. I have been taking my meds, tracking my blood sugars working on being a better me.

You would think after 51 days I would have this whole thing down to a science. I would be happy and excited and proud. I'm finding that is not the case.

I'm frustrated. Why isn't the weight coming off as fast as it went on? I work out every day - sometimes the entire hour, sometimes 30 minutes. While I am down overall by 16 pounds, I can't see it. I don't know why I think I need validation - someone, anyone to say that they can see it.

I am at the point in my couch to 5K program where it is all running. Running between 25 and 35 minutes. I can make it 20, but I'm having issues getting past that. I know I have never run before so this should be expected but I don't like it. It was a nice day on Sunday so I went up to the track to run outdoors. "This is going to be great" I thought. "I can run at least a mile" I thought. Well, I was mistakin'!! Running outside is totally different than running inside. I made the it 5K/3.1 miles but I wasn't happy about it. I was so upset when I got home. How the hell am I going to run a 5K. What business do I have even signing up for one? Who am I kidding?

On top of that, somehow I had gained a little weight. That just about did me in. I can dish out the advice - you know the "don't worry about the scale" the "every day is different" the "keep it up, the weight will come off" but I guess I don't do a good job of taking the advice.

I'm done total. 16 pounds is a lot. I know this. I want more. I know I'm not as strict as when I started but I'm always under where I want to be and this is going to be more my lifestyle.

I don't know - I guess it's just venting. I know it will be fine. I'll make it through my 5K. If I don't run it, that's okay too. I'll make it and hopefully I won't be the last one to finish....

Day...36

It was a lot easier to count the days in January. Math, not one of my strong suits!

So here I am, day 36 and I have had a few small successes...

1) I took off my wedding ring. Okay - I realize that this doesn't sound like a success. But, when you haven't been able to take off your wedding ring for almost a year, it is a success! I needed to get a small stone replaced and it cleaned. I haven't been able to do that because I couldn't get it off my fat finger. So, here I am, ring-less, but happy knowing it is in the shop getting fixed!

2) Today at lunch I tried on a pair of size 18 jeans that did not have a "W" beside it. And guess what - they fit. I'm not sure all jeans at all stores will fit the same, but two different pairs, at a 'normal' store without a "W" after the size fit me. I didn't buy them (I really didn't like them that much) but I wanted to see if they would fit. And they did.

The last few days have been a struggle. Not sure why...I guess I just want too much too soon. I think I'm making progress and then I see a picture and it doesn't look like my mind thinks it should look. I know it takes time, I know this but for whatever reason, I'm not buying into it. So while I have my small victories, I still feel crappy.

I am still planning my meals - I'll be eating out a lot this week, just how it is working out, but I'm making healthy choices. This morning I changed up my exercise and did 30 minutes of Just Dance. Yikes - my arms are killing me! I guess I don't do much with my arms on the treadmill or the bike. Yep, I was up exercising before work. I'll do that again tomorrow and Friday as I have meetings and activities after work. I must be in my routine, because the thought of missing a workout stresses me out. I think that is a good thing.

So, I'm making it through Day 36....only 61 more days until my 5K.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

Day 31....

Well, I made it to the end of the month. Day 31. I've actually stuck with something for 31 days. I can honestly say that I'm surprised. When I started my journey, I didn't think I would stick with it. I never have before - why would this time be any different? Well, this time I started blogging, I joined a 'support' group of sorts, I exercise every day and I keep track of everything I eat.

I'm not giving up anything - I'm just making better choices. I went to a restaurant for lunch - instead of 12 boneless wings, I had a grilled chicken salad. Now I admit, it wasn't the same, but it was just as good.

Today was Day 1 of Week 4 of the couch to 5k program. I actually 'ran' for 5 minutes straight two times. Now, I'm not fast, but I'm okay with that. I signed up for my first 5k on April 7th. Only 66 more days to get ready. I feel good about it but I am also scared as hell.

I'm down almost 12 pounds. I had routine blood work done last week and my doctor took me off one of my meds already. That was just with 25 days of not being stupid. I really hope in the months to come I will be able to delete several of my other ones. My hubby said that he can tell that I've lost weight in my neck. Not what every girl wants to hear, but it's better than nothing. I can't tell when I look at myself. I can only go by the scale, which isn't always the best measure, but it's what I do! That's not true - I know I must be losing some weight because I was able to get one of my rings off that I haven't been able to get off for 6 months because it was stuck. Now, I shouldn't want to take off my engagement ring, but it's nice to know that it's now an option. I still can't get off my wedding ring, which again, I know I shouldn't want to, but it needs to be cleaned and I haven't been able to do that because it won't come off my pudgy little finger. Once I can get that ring off, I'm having a party!!

I did hit my 2nd mini goal (another 5 pounds) so I bought myself two charms for my bracelet. My next goal (another 5 pounds) will result in getting my nails done! After that will be a new baseball sweatshirt of my favorite team (Go Braves) and then a new pair of boots. Once I get to the sweatshirt, I will set more goals.

I traveled yesterday for work. It was hard - it is hard when you work in the pizza industry. I kept it in check which I am proud of. My test will be when I have an overnight trip. I will just make sure that the hotel I stay in has a gym which is not something I normally do.

I'm proud of myself, but not too much. I still have days when I'm a little down, but I try and list the positives in my life. Sometimes that is easier said than done!

I made it 31 days...next up - the 28 days of February!

Day 22...

Well, I made it to Day 22.

I'm sticking to my plan. I'm eating better, drinking water, exercising and most of the time I feel pretty darn good. I was down another pound yesterday. My goal is a pound a week and so far I've actually surpassed it.

Challenges from the weekend include....
1) Eating - I ate fast food twice, at a pizza place once and a bar and grill once. I made great choices so I did prove to myself that I can eat out and still stay on track.
2) Drinking - I had 'a few' beers Friday night but only one on Saturday. I did prove to myself that I can go out and have a good time without drinking!
3) Exercise - Actually, this wasn't a challenge. I worked out Friday morning before work, I took a walk with my niece in the beautiful weather on Saturday afternoon and worked out when I got home on Sunday.

Funny story about Sunday - before we left 'down home' to go home my hubby asked if we were going to fight over the treadmill. I told him he could have it first while I went to the store. I'm so happy that he knew that I would want to exercise and while he never puts any pressure on me to do anything, I'm so happy that he is encouraging me in his special way.

Tonight is the end of week 2 of my couch to 5K program. I was watching The Biggest Loser on TV last night, a show that I normally do not watch, and the participants were running a 5k. It was inspiring to me. I know that I can do it!

As I'm eating my lunch at my desk, I am getting ready to do the one thing that I dread the most - going to the dentist. I hate the dentist. I have a phobia of teeth. I know it's weird. I can't stand to look at teeth. I can't stand to watch anyone brush his/her teeth and I do not want anyone to watch me brush my teeth. I don't like to watch anything to do with teeth on TV. I have yet to see one story line on TV or a Movie that has to do with brushing teeth that is instrumental to the story line. NO ONE CARES! I do have a dentist that I actually like. In the past 8 years, the place I used to go, changed dentist four times. Just when I sort of got used to one, they left. I just couldn't do it anymore. There is a young gal that I know that is a dentist. I finally got the nerve to go to her. I know that she's not going anywhere. She is married, has a family and her extended family is here. Last time was the first time that she personally didn't clean my teeth. She asked if I was ready for a hygienist to clean them. I told her I thought I was. It went pretty good - only a few tears.

My goal is no tears this afternoon...I think I can, I think I can.

Until next time....