Books..

Okay...another post today. I was surfing blogs and found one that was all about books and what that person was reading. What a great idea. I think I'll figure out how to list the books that I have read. I don't know how to do it...but I'll try and figure it out. The last book I read was The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb. It was a pretty good book. I would recommend it and I hate to recommend things. Maybe I'll do it with movies too. I just saw Gran Torino this afternoon. I really liked it. Clint Eastwood is an excellent job.

Stay tuned...

The Guilts...

Yes, I have the guilts. The type where you question everything you know about yourself. Guilty about my mom and how I don't seem to be pulling my weight. She lives about an hour from me. The problem is that my sister lives 5 minutes from my mom so she has to do everything. My mom had a quad-bypass back in September. She's doing better but still is not driving which means my sister has to drive her around and help her with her errands. I'm not there. I can't be there. I wish I could be. I guess I could be...it's only an hour. I should go down there more. I feel guilty that I just want to be at home. Sit in my chair with my laptop and hang out with Brently and Sydney. I was suppose to go home yesterday and go with my mom to her work party. It was going to snow (and did) so she told me not to come down. Brently didn't want me to go either. I think I should have. My mom seemed upset on the phone tonight. My sister said she was upset yesterday. I don't know. I don't think my mom has been herself since my dad passed away. She took care of him for so long that she doesn't know what to do with herself. Plus, she really wants to retire, but can't until she can get insurance. My dad..although part of my guilt. I should have spent more time with him. Does anyone really spend all of the time they should with the ones they love? Should I spend my weekends down home with mom and my nephews and niece? with my sister? running errands? I don't know and I don't know what the answer is. Am I selfish? Is that why I don't have kids of my own? I don't want to take time out of my schedule for anyone else? Am I a terrible person? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I wish I did. No wonder I get anxiety attacks. I should call my mom on the fact that she's not happy and ask her what I can do. Is she waiting for me to ask? Should I ask? Will she say 'nothing' and be done with it. I don't know.

Lazy Sunday...

I'm enjoying a lazy Sunday afternoon/evening after a fun craft weekend. A bunch of friends and I get together at a cabin to craft and laugh. I did some scrapbooking, but didn't get as much done as I thought I would. It was fun anyway.

I got home around noon today after washing my car. I had to...I couldn't see out the side windows because they were too dirty. I hate this weather just because it makes my car dirty (and I can't drive the Mazda). I have this discussion all the time.. but I would rather be too cold than too hot. I can always add clothes or covers. I'm always cold. ALWAYS. Doesn't matter if it's in winter or summer...I'm always cold.

So with the craft weekend, my eating was a little out of control although not as bad as it would have been if I hadn't been careful. Lots of junk food at a craft retreat. I did bring fruit - pineapple, grapes and oranges...which I did eat as well as brownies, chips and a very good creme filled donut! Oh well, I'll make up for it and at least I was aware of what I was eating.

I went and watched Jordy and Jakey play basketball on Friday. It was really fun. My sister and I had a great time. After the game, I took Jakey and Peanut (and my mom) out for supper. Jakey and Peanut really entertain me. Brently's folks were at the same place so we visited with them for a while. Jakey wants to come and fix Brently and I a romantic dinner - this came from the fact that I don't cook. He said he would teach me how to cook. He's so cute and really looks out for me.

I was able to have supper with Wheat on Wednesday night. It's nice to have him back. We had a nice visit. He planned his schedule so he doesn't have class on Fridays. Smart kid! (Just like his Aunt!)

I watched the football game this afternoon and was happy with the results. I did sleep through the entire 2nd half as I was laying on the couch. Sydney was curled up at my feet. We had a good nap. I woke up in time to watch the last minute of the game.

Lots of good TV watching tonight. More of me being lazy. I love it.

Traveling this week for work. Just an overnight trip so that won't be too bad. I'll be traveling quite a bit of the next couple months. The only one set in stone is a trip to Texas in a few weeks.

After hanging out with my nephews and niece over the weekend, I really am so lucky. I love being their aunt and hanging out with them and watching them grow up. They are the best!

A New Year...

So...I was going to make one of those 'New Year Resolutions' about blogging...how I was going to do this every day or at least every other day...I guess it may be every 13 days...

Christmas was good, New Year's was uneventful and my birthday came and gone. I guess it was okay.

Tonight just a lazy night at home. Watching some US Marshal show on A&E with Brently on the couch and me in the chair with my laptop and Sydney on my lap.

I'm trying to take charge of my life. It's been a little rocky. I've been in a funk that I just can't seem to shake. I'm tired of being fat...finally. I've been like this for as long as I can remember. Apparently I was thin when I was younger...not sure what happened. Oh, wait, yes I do - I kept eating and didn't stop. I'm doing WW again...this time with Vic and so far so good. I still eat what I want, I just don't have so much of it. Part of me doesn't want to tell anyone so when I fail, I won't disappoint anyone. The other part thinks I should so I can finally be accountable for my actions. The first week was good - lost 6.4 lbs. I know that's enough but I think it had a lot to do with what I was wearing and the fact that I actually paid attention to what I put in my mouth. (Ha ha - that's what she said). Anyway, I worked out on the Wii Fit last night. It's almost too much fun! My Wii Fit is the best and my Wii age is down to 30.

Work is good...just busy. I still love it which is nice. I don't mind being so busy since I like it to much. My new girl is working out great and I really like her. We're the same age so it's weird being her boss but it's nice because we like the same things.

Wheat is back at college. I'm glad to have him back up here. We're going out for supper tomorrow night...he wants to go some place 'new' that he hasn't been before. I'm not sure where we will go..I'll come up with something.

I guess that's all for now...I'll try to write every 13 days...