Colorado...

So I'm traveling for work again. I'm in Colorado Springs. Sitting in my hotel room, watching NIT basketball, drinking a Miller Lite, not wanting to work. I'll probably do some work later - or better yet - tomorrow morning. Another store visit tomorrow and then I get to hang with one of my BF...yes, I will be spending time with The Flackster.

Flack lives in Denver. We met in College. She didn't come back after her freshman year. I was bummed. Then she came back. I was already graduated. Then she went back to Denver. We were pretty tight. A guy came between us. She dated a total ass for 7 years. She couldn't see it. I could. I got tired of her talking about what an ass he was yet wouldn't do anything about it. I basically told her that I didn't want to hear it anymore and if all she was going to do is talk about him..don't call. She didn't. For almost 6 years.

I can't remember how we started talking again. I think she called after they broke up. The calls weren't that often. Every once in a while. She wasn't there when I needed her. After my marriage was breaking up. When I really needed her. I didn't think I could forgive her. I didn't think she would forgive me. I have a really bad habit of holding a grudge. I held on for a long time. Then I made a decision. Get busy living or get busy dying...well - that's really from the Shawshank Redemption - I didn't say that at all. I did make a decision that I would forgive and forget. I think the first big step was my first visit post her breakup with the ass. (not to be confused with the asshat that she sometimes sees now). We went to the football game. Had a great time. We've talked pretty much every day (sometimes email - sometimes cell phone - sometimes she leaves me messages on the cell phone so I can listen to them in the morning.) We're good now. We laugh a lot and when we actually get together, we have a great time. I do wish that we lived closer. Her parents are in Denver - they are older and she wants to be close to them, which I totally get - I'm the same way. For now, I'll take the time we have...

One of my other bf lives the same distance away but in a different direction. Missy is a true friend. She's there for me and I hope she always knows that I'm there for her. We don't have to talk every day. An occasional email, a post or a quick chat on facebook works for us. We can say so much in a very few words. When I found out that Missy was going to be in Omaha when I was in Denver, I was really bummed. What are the odds that she's going to be here when I'm going to be somewhere else. Luckily, I will be able to see her. We don't need a lot of time to say what we want to, we just know!

While I'm on the subject of friends...I FINALLY got to see Francine before I left. We live in the same damn place and I hadn't seen her in years - well, actually it was probably a few weeks - but in Francine/Maude years, that is YEARS. Once again, we just picked up where we left off. We can do that. I love that we can do that.

While sometimes I hate it when I'm gone from home for too long, I'm glad to see my friends.

I'm going to have a busy rest of the month. I'm lucky that Brently is so understanding...at least I hope he is. He knows I love my job. He knows that I'm not a cooker and I'm pretty sure he loves me anyway!

I'll be watching a lot of basketball over the next few days. This is when I'm at my best. I need march madness, Miller Lite, my friends and my cell phone - how else am I suppose to keep up with facebook???

OH WAIT - I was going to end but totally forgot to talk about last night. Nickelback. That concert was kick ass. I really loved Seether, which I didn't think I would. Jake and I actually got matching Seether t-shirts. He was going to wear his to school today and wanted me to wear mine to work. I told him that it probably wasn't going to happen, but I would wear it this weekend sometime. I think Nickelback put on a great show. It is in my Top 5...maybe in my Top 3 behind Tom Petty and The Eagles. I didn't get home until midnight and then up at 4:30 to get to my flight on time. I made it okay, but was rushed which I hate. I didn't have time to get my Scooters. I sat beside a dad with his little boy on his lap. It was one of my best flights. He was super nice and his son was super cute. We chatted all the way to Denver. I wish all people could get like that.

Until next time....

Kitty Walker...

I think I am Kitty Walker...Well, I'm Kitty Walker without the hot husband (not that Brently isn't hot), without knowing anything about politics, without a black son named Evan, without being a republican, without the 1/2 brother...oh wait, I have one of those....anyway, I think I am Kitty Walker...

Kitty Walker shuts down when she doesn't want to fight anymore...Kitty Walker doesn't want anyone to know when she's not happy...yep, I'm Kitty Walker...

Yes, I identify with a character on a TV show...

Finally....

So, it's been a while since my last blog. I've got a couple of requests to update this. They are from the same person (thanks Missy)...so I thought I would take some time to update...

It's a challenge because Sydney the super kitty HATES it when I use my laptop when I'm in my chair. Our living room is arranged so that our two chairs face the TV. My favorite place is to sit in my chair with my laptop and watch TV. It's a hard life, I know... Anyway, Sydney loves to sit on my lap, so when the laptop is, well, on my lap...then she can't be. She gets between me and the laptop which isn't easy. She usually ends up stepping on the keyboard. Okay...I finally got her to lay on my legs, so I should be good to go.

I'll try to go back and recap my life..hitting on the high points...

1) Work - I've been traveling a lot for work. I've been to Dallas and Evansville, IN in the past month. I'm going to Colorado Springs next week. I'm going to be able to spend a few days with Flack which will be great. I'm also going to help her get a computer so she can FINALLY get on facebook. The week after that I'm going to Ames. I'm actually taking my mom to one of her social work meetings. I'm meeting my co-worker in Ames and we're going to do some store visits.

2) Concert - I'm going to the Nickelback concert on Tuesday with my three nephews. I'm glad I'm doing that so I stay out of trouble on St. Patrick's Day. It will be a short night as I fly out to Colorado on Wednesday morning.

3) Brently - What can I say about him. The last few weeks have been a little stressful. He had convinced himself that he had colon cancer. I knew he didn't, but he wouldn't listen to me. He had some test last Tuesday - which was also his birthday. Turns out he has a small ulcer which should be cleared up in a couple months with medicine. He has decided to eat healthy and exercise, which is great. The thing that makes me mad is the fact that it's taken me 2 months to lose 13 pounds and I think he's lost that in the past week!

4) Family - my mom stayed with me last night. I judged state speech in Ames on Saturday and picked up my mom on the way through Shen. (Background story - I rode to Ames with my sister's neighbor who is also a speech judge. We had to leave at 4:45am...it sucked. My car was in Essex, so I picked it up and then went to Shen.) Jacque, Curt and the kids were in CB. They boys were taking the hunter safety course at Bass Pro and they stayed up here on Saturday night. This morning mom and I went to wal-mart and then we all (including Brently) met Jacque, Curt and the peanut for lunch. It was fun.

After lunch, Brently & I came home and I took a big ol' nap. I think I'm pretty refreshed - finally. Now I'm waiting for my shows...starting at 8pm. I'll be taping a lot of shows this week since I'll be gone. Then I'll try to watch them...Since I don't get back until Sunday night...I'll have two days. I don't know if that will happen and then Brently will get all twisted up. Oh well.

I'm excited for Missy's visit next weekend. I'm sad that I'll be gone for most of it but happy that I'll get to see her on Monday morning. I'm meeting her at 5:30am - I'm not a morning person...but I will be for her!!

I've been too busy to think too much...which is always good. I replay a lot of things in my head - how I could have done them differently, why I did some things. I don't really have any answers. I guess that's okay...I don't have to have all the answers. I also realized that I should tell people things that will hurt them just to make myself feel better. I think that's a good gig.

I'm addicted to facebook. When I should be working from home, I'm on facebook. Mafia Wars, Tetris, chatting, looking at pictures...you name it, I'm doing it. I need to get back in the habit on working at home...I'm so far behind...I don't see the light...the light is a dot to me!

Well...there you go...I promise I will try to be better. Even if it's something boring...I'll update you.

Until next time....

Books..

Okay...another post today. I was surfing blogs and found one that was all about books and what that person was reading. What a great idea. I think I'll figure out how to list the books that I have read. I don't know how to do it...but I'll try and figure it out. The last book I read was The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb. It was a pretty good book. I would recommend it and I hate to recommend things. Maybe I'll do it with movies too. I just saw Gran Torino this afternoon. I really liked it. Clint Eastwood is an excellent job.

Stay tuned...

The Guilts...

Yes, I have the guilts. The type where you question everything you know about yourself. Guilty about my mom and how I don't seem to be pulling my weight. She lives about an hour from me. The problem is that my sister lives 5 minutes from my mom so she has to do everything. My mom had a quad-bypass back in September. She's doing better but still is not driving which means my sister has to drive her around and help her with her errands. I'm not there. I can't be there. I wish I could be. I guess I could be...it's only an hour. I should go down there more. I feel guilty that I just want to be at home. Sit in my chair with my laptop and hang out with Brently and Sydney. I was suppose to go home yesterday and go with my mom to her work party. It was going to snow (and did) so she told me not to come down. Brently didn't want me to go either. I think I should have. My mom seemed upset on the phone tonight. My sister said she was upset yesterday. I don't know. I don't think my mom has been herself since my dad passed away. She took care of him for so long that she doesn't know what to do with herself. Plus, she really wants to retire, but can't until she can get insurance. My dad..although part of my guilt. I should have spent more time with him. Does anyone really spend all of the time they should with the ones they love? Should I spend my weekends down home with mom and my nephews and niece? with my sister? running errands? I don't know and I don't know what the answer is. Am I selfish? Is that why I don't have kids of my own? I don't want to take time out of my schedule for anyone else? Am I a terrible person? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I wish I did. No wonder I get anxiety attacks. I should call my mom on the fact that she's not happy and ask her what I can do. Is she waiting for me to ask? Should I ask? Will she say 'nothing' and be done with it. I don't know.

Lazy Sunday...

I'm enjoying a lazy Sunday afternoon/evening after a fun craft weekend. A bunch of friends and I get together at a cabin to craft and laugh. I did some scrapbooking, but didn't get as much done as I thought I would. It was fun anyway.

I got home around noon today after washing my car. I had to...I couldn't see out the side windows because they were too dirty. I hate this weather just because it makes my car dirty (and I can't drive the Mazda). I have this discussion all the time.. but I would rather be too cold than too hot. I can always add clothes or covers. I'm always cold. ALWAYS. Doesn't matter if it's in winter or summer...I'm always cold.

So with the craft weekend, my eating was a little out of control although not as bad as it would have been if I hadn't been careful. Lots of junk food at a craft retreat. I did bring fruit - pineapple, grapes and oranges...which I did eat as well as brownies, chips and a very good creme filled donut! Oh well, I'll make up for it and at least I was aware of what I was eating.

I went and watched Jordy and Jakey play basketball on Friday. It was really fun. My sister and I had a great time. After the game, I took Jakey and Peanut (and my mom) out for supper. Jakey and Peanut really entertain me. Brently's folks were at the same place so we visited with them for a while. Jakey wants to come and fix Brently and I a romantic dinner - this came from the fact that I don't cook. He said he would teach me how to cook. He's so cute and really looks out for me.

I was able to have supper with Wheat on Wednesday night. It's nice to have him back. We had a nice visit. He planned his schedule so he doesn't have class on Fridays. Smart kid! (Just like his Aunt!)

I watched the football game this afternoon and was happy with the results. I did sleep through the entire 2nd half as I was laying on the couch. Sydney was curled up at my feet. We had a good nap. I woke up in time to watch the last minute of the game.

Lots of good TV watching tonight. More of me being lazy. I love it.

Traveling this week for work. Just an overnight trip so that won't be too bad. I'll be traveling quite a bit of the next couple months. The only one set in stone is a trip to Texas in a few weeks.

After hanging out with my nephews and niece over the weekend, I really am so lucky. I love being their aunt and hanging out with them and watching them grow up. They are the best!

A New Year...

So...I was going to make one of those 'New Year Resolutions' about blogging...how I was going to do this every day or at least every other day...I guess it may be every 13 days...

Christmas was good, New Year's was uneventful and my birthday came and gone. I guess it was okay.

Tonight just a lazy night at home. Watching some US Marshal show on A&E with Brently on the couch and me in the chair with my laptop and Sydney on my lap.

I'm trying to take charge of my life. It's been a little rocky. I've been in a funk that I just can't seem to shake. I'm tired of being fat...finally. I've been like this for as long as I can remember. Apparently I was thin when I was younger...not sure what happened. Oh, wait, yes I do - I kept eating and didn't stop. I'm doing WW again...this time with Vic and so far so good. I still eat what I want, I just don't have so much of it. Part of me doesn't want to tell anyone so when I fail, I won't disappoint anyone. The other part thinks I should so I can finally be accountable for my actions. The first week was good - lost 6.4 lbs. I know that's enough but I think it had a lot to do with what I was wearing and the fact that I actually paid attention to what I put in my mouth. (Ha ha - that's what she said). Anyway, I worked out on the Wii Fit last night. It's almost too much fun! My Wii Fit is the best and my Wii age is down to 30.

Work is good...just busy. I still love it which is nice. I don't mind being so busy since I like it to much. My new girl is working out great and I really like her. We're the same age so it's weird being her boss but it's nice because we like the same things.

Wheat is back at college. I'm glad to have him back up here. We're going out for supper tomorrow night...he wants to go some place 'new' that he hasn't been before. I'm not sure where we will go..I'll come up with something.

I guess that's all for now...I'll try to write every 13 days...